Just Call Me Dad

My son is becoming a thrill junkie. It all started innocently enough. Driving a truck on icy winter roads means that from time to time we would do a little fishtail when going around corners or when starting out from a stoplight. The ensuing giggles encouraged Dad to try a couple of donuts in an empty parking lot. This was greeted with a wonderful “Whee!” sound from the back seat. (It also led to my wife asking me why Nick asked her to “do some donuts” on a morning when she drove him to daycare. Oops.)

However, the thrill seeking reached its peak about a month ago. I took Nick to a nearby hill with his sled. Now, it’s not as if I went out and bought the boy a GT Snow Racer or a snowboard – he’s got a classic kiddie sled – wooden, with two ski’s, sides, and a curved back. The hill was busy that day, with lots of older kids sledding off jumps and racing each other. I got Nick seated in the sled, then took him part way up the hill. I turned him around and gave him a gentle push. He went sliding down the hill, coming to a stop a little ways away.

Hearing no sound, I ran up to Nick and asked him what he thought. No response. “Nick, was that fun?” I asked. He nodded. “Do you want to try again?” He nodded.

We repeated the experiment a couple more times. It didn’t seems as if he was really enjoying himself, so I asked him if he wanted to go home. The reply was clear. Mustering all the anger he could, he turned around, pointed to the hill and yelled, “No! I want to go to the TOP!”.

We continued sledding for a while, moving further and further up the hill each time until I was comfortable with how stable his sled was, and we eventually reached the top of the hill. By now, Nick was having so much fun that he was getting out of the sled by himself at the bottom of the hill and starting back up before I could reach him.

Since then we’ve gone sledding a couple more times, and each time he gets more confident. He now tells me the direction he wants to go and the path that he wants to take. He asks me to give him a push so that he goes faster, and now wants to race someone down the hill each time.

I think that’s pretty cool. It’s time for Dad to pick up a sled. Maybe that GT Snow Racer that I always wanted as a kid.

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Last week I mentioned that Nick’s Mom had gone away for a few days, but that Nick and Daddy were doing just fine without her, thank you very much. We played all the time and had a lot of fun. We even had a chicken stir-fry for supper one night – how’s that for getting all of your vegetables?

Of course, I also mentioned “We miss Mom, but this isn’t an unbearable situation in the short run.” I was right, in the short run it was just fine. However, by Monday night both Nick and I were really missing Mommy. It’s not that we couldn’t do it for longer, it’s that we were happy we didn’t have to do it for longer.

Sometimes it’s so much fun being a Dad that we forget how wonderful it is to have a Mommy around too.

Thanks Mom, for all of your hard work.

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Yesterday morning Mom left for a four day conference on the coast, leaving Nick and I to fend for ourselves.

As expected, so far we have killed the cat, lost our shoes, and managed to survive by eating only potato chips and soda.

Just kidding.

It’s funny that the perception of fathers being terrible parents is so pervasive in our society. I’m not sure if it is because TV commercials and sitcoms make us look stupid, or if TV commercials and sitcoms make us look stupid because that is the prevailing attitude in society, but either way that attitude has to change. There are millions of single dads out there, and many more stay-at-home-dads that are doing a great job of raising their kids.

I’m having a great time with my boy this weekend. Sure, its harder when you don’t have someone else to take over for half an hour while you run out to the store, but it’s not impossible. While I do the dishes, Nick plays. While I cook supper, Nick watches Thomas & Friends. When I go to the store, he comes with me.

We miss Mom, but this isn’t an unbearable situation in the short run.

Now if you’ll excuse me, the pizza guy is here and I need to find my pants.

(Kidding again!)

My wife and I have been discussing when we should move Nick to a big-boy bed for some time. While he has never actually climbed out of his crib, we have caught him with his leg over the railing quite a few times. He is also becoming more and more independent; he now goes to bed with a couple of toys and a flashlight. It’s hard to believe this, but the flashlight is because we have had a few nights where Nick has asserted that the Cookie Monster is hiding in his room. However, the giant recall of Stork Craft cribs this week has given us the kick in the pants we needed to make a decision.

It shall be tomorrow.

Like most decisions, this one has not been taken lightly. Replacing a crib with a bed has several implications. From now on, when he doesn’t want to stay in his bed, he doesn’t have to. This means that a serious second look should be taken at just how child proof his room is.

For example, we have never installed drawer locks on his dresser, nor have we anchored his dresser to the wall. It is very easy to open the bottom drawer of his dresser and tip the dresser over. In addition, the cord for his lamp that used to be behind his crib, will now be at the foot of his bed. I don’t like exposed cords, because if they come partially unplugged they can pose an electrocution hazard for little fingers.

Now that he could be walking around his room at 2am with no supervision, we need to take care of these things. We also needed to be concerned with getting Nick prepared emotionally for this journey. A quick Google search revealed an Elmo book on this very topic:

I picked it up at a local bookstore earlier this week, and it’s perfect. Nick loves Elmo, and the book is short. We’ve been reading it a couple of times a day and he’s getting hooked.

We are also involving him in the process of converting over to a bed. He loves ‘fixing’ things with me, so tonight we are going to go to Toys ‘R’ Us and pick up a tool kit so that he can help me assemble the bed. We will also be assembling the bed on Saturday morning so that he can play on/around it all day.

Finally, I will be sleeping on the floor in his room on Saturday night.

Hopefully, all of these things will mean a seamless transition from crib to bed. I will try to post some more information about this process in the coming week.

Stork Craft & Fisher Price Recall 2.1 Million Cribs

I’ve got a few comments and extra information about this recall, but first, in case you haven’t heard about this yet, here is the link to the actual recall.

http://www.cpsc.gov/cpscpub/prerel/prhtml10/10046.html

Note that this recall affects all of North America.

Getting through to Stork Craft has been almost impossible this week. However, I did manage to find a link to the Stork Craft blog that not only seems to work, but also provides the information that concerned parents need to get.

http://storkcraft.blogspot.com/2009/11/stork-craft-recall-information.html

The company has also issued a YouTube interview with the President of Stork Craft. You can view it here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4EuCV8f1ndc

Stork Craft has also posted a YouTube video showing how to install the recall kit. You can view it here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f2RUXYmipmU&feature=related

You should also note that this is not the first time Stork Craft has had a recall on these cribs. I covered the last recall here:

http://justcallmedad.com/2009/01/important-storkcraft-crib-recall/

While the repair kit has been approved by Canadian and US officials, one US official, Inez Tenenbaum, head of the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, suggested on NBC’s Today show that “It is made of plastic, so if you can afford another crib that does not have a drop-side, or even if you can’t afford it, there are many charities in communities that can provide you with a new crib. That really is the safest way to handle this situation.”

This is the crib that we have; we have inspected it and have found everything to be in good working order. Nick is still sleeping in it for the time being.

Depending on the age of your child, you have a few options.
1. Replace the crib with a new crib.
2. Repair the crib as per the recall.
3. Replace the crib with a toddler bed.

Parenting is never easy, is it?

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When it comes to discipline the difference between telling and showing is often lost on parents, but our kids understand completely.

Telling
Telling is, of course, telling your kids what to do (and often what NOT to do). Sit down, don’t lie, don’t swear, don’t steal, don’t talk back to your mother, etc. This is the easiest form of parenting because we can simply tell our kids how to behave and then lose our tempers and get mad when they “don’t listen”.

Showing
Showing is the difficult part of parenting.

Do you tell your kids not to lie? Keep that in mind the next time the in-laws call and you ask your wife to tell them you are in the garage. Do you get mad at your kids when they swear? Watch your lips the next time you drop a glass in the sink or your favorite football team fumbles the ball.

The examples that I mention above are pretty easy to avoid because we can watch what we say when our kids are in the room. However, there are many other traps involving more complex behaviors that are much harder to avoid.

“Get outside and get some exercise.”

This was a favorite of my parents; it was usually said after supper when my Dad wanted to lay on the couch and watch TV. I heard him say it, but because it wasn’t something that he placed value on in his life, it wasn’t something that I placed value on in mine. I simply went outside until I thought I could come in again, or more likely, snuck into the next room and played with some G.I. Joes.

I’m sure that if you really think about it, you can come up with at least one thing you do that sends a mixed message to your children. Maybe you go to great lengths to strap them into their carseat, but don’t bother to put on your own seatbelt. Or, perhaps you talk to them about the importance of staying positive, and then complain about work all through supper. Whether your children are 2 or 22, they learn how to react and respond to life by watching Mom and Dad deal with the events that happen in their life.

Leading by example. It’s something I need to do more of.

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If I could, I would probably live in a Norman Rockwell painting.

My family and I would live in a big white colonial home in Connecticut, and every birthday we would line the kids up against a door frame in the kitchen and mark their height off on the wood. When the time came we would do the same with all the grandchildren, and 50 years later when my wife and I were being moved into the old-folks home, the children and grandchildren would gather around the beat-up old door frame and touch the marks with a kind of love and fondness that only time can cultivate in our hearts. The house would be sold, and the new owners would move in, spackle over the marks, repaint, and restart the process with their own kids. The Circle of Life.

Of course, I don’t live in Connecticut, and despite the decorating that my wife and I do, our bungalow is not a colonial. In addition, the problem with marking heights on doorframes is that people sometimes move and you can not take a door frame with you. My solution? Double-sided tape. Let me explain.

While walking through the trim section at the Home Depot, I stumbled across a wooden corner bead, used to protect the corners of walls and various other things. This was not like the plastic corner bead that the rest of my house had, it was substantial, and an idea grew in my head:

Because the trim was so thick, it would not mate up properly with the crown molding or baseboard if I ran it from floor to ceiling. My solution was to cut it shorter than the wall, and bevel the top and bottom of the board. This piece served two purposes: first, it protected a corner that would get beat up, and second, it provided a place to mark the height of our children. Rather than gluing or nailing the trim into place, I secured it to the wall with two strips of double sided tape. In the event that we ever moved, I could simply pry the trim off the wall, paint a similiar piece of wood, and stick it back up. I like simple solutions, and this fit the bill.

There were a couple of other issues that I had to deal with. Because I was using tape to secure the wood to the wall, there was a possibility that the piece would move at some point when the tape got old. Also, if we ever did have to move it, because the piece does not go down to the floor, I would need a way to know how high to install the board in a new home.

My solution was to mark a line 12″ from the floor. This reference mark is checked every year to ensure that the trim piece has not slipped. If we move, I simply install the board so that the line is 12″ from the ground, and continue on marking it as usual.

Making the marks was easy. I took the measurement the hospital gave us on the day Nick was born, and scribed it onto the board. On his first birthday, I stood him up against the wall right before we had cake and made the mark. For his second birthday, he stood the day after and we drew the line. To ensure the marks remain after the Sharpie has worn away, I notched the board with a small file, and then marked over top of that. It should basically last forever.

There are now three marks on the wall for Nick. Only 47 more to go before I get sent off to the old-folks home. But in real-life, the board will come with me.

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I have tried to write something about the importance of remembering September 11, 2001; nothing has come out that seems appropriate. Instead of trying to be inspirational, I’ll just say this:

Take the time to watch some video footage of the day. Remember how you felt on that day. Most of the things we spend our time worrying about do not matter. Those problems are distractions from the things that actually are important: family, God, health, friends, liberty.

Give your kids an extra long hug today. It is important.

Nick loves Thomas and Friends, as I’m sure most two year olds do. The small, rugged trains are painted in bright colors, have strong magnets, and a world of television, clothing, and Internet promotion to keep the kids coming back for more. Obviously a huge marketing success, Thomas can also be used to teach our children about many things.

COLORS

One of the best things about the Thomas and Friends trains are the wide variety of colors that the engines and trucks are painted. No real life railroad would paint their locomotives red, blue, green, black, orange, purple, and brown, but it sure helps our kids learn about colors. As you play, ask your kids questions about colors like:

Nick, which engine is blue?

Nicholas, what color is Gordon?

NUMBERS

I’m sure many corporate fleets could learn something about the simple method that Sir Topham-Hat uses to keep his group of engines organized. There is no way that the local company my neighbor works for is so big that his truck deserves to have UNIT # 465C painted on the side of it. The Sodor Train Company keeps things simple: Thomas is #1, Percy is #6, Gordon is #4. This is great for learning numbers and counting. As you play, ask your kids questions like:

Nicholas, which engine is #6?

Nick, do you see the number 2 on any of these engines?

As a child grows older, you could even use the trains to teach addition and subtraction. Imagine making a long train, counting all of the cars together, and then removing two cars from the end of the train.

How many cars are left?

Or, try addition:

If Percy is pulling two mail trucks, and picks up one milk truck, how many trucks is Percy pulling now?

PHYSICS

 Alright, two is a little young to be thinking about my child becoming the next star student at MIT, but the fact is that the laws of physics control the way the world around us works. The sooner that our kids become familiar with these concepts, the sooner that they can move on to other things. Nick’s eyes light up when one train magically picks another up off the floor, or pushes another train down the track just by bringing them close to each other. Many people don’t know this, but the trains have opposite poles on each of their magnets. This means that the train cars and engines all have to be facing in the same direction in order for them to couple to each other. Place them in the wrong direction and the forces of magnetism actually repel the two cars. It’s amazing to watch my son place two cars together, realize one is backwards, and turn it around so that they both click together.

MANUAL DEXTERITY

 Those little wooden train tracks have connectors that are not much larger than many puzzle pieces. It requires a fairly high degree of dexterity to assemble a track.

IMAGINATION

Think about the considerable imaginative play that is required to create a story in your child’s mind and act it out on a set of wooden rails. Also consider the significant understanding of the world that a 2 year old needs in order to lay 10 pieces of track into a complete circuit so that he or she can drive a train completely around it. It requires a clear vision of what the end product looks like, and an understanding of cause and effect to place one piece in one way and knowing that the next piece has to go a certain way or the track will never work out. The individual pieces of train tracks are really an open ended game for kids; kind of like Grand Theft Auto 4 but without the shoot-outs (and drugs and prostitutes).

The best part? I like Thomas too. The toys are fun and simple, and I love playing trains with my son. Keep an eye on this blog for some other train news as Nick’s birthday approaches.

Interested in picking up some Thomas and Friends toys? Check out Amazon.com for a complete selection.

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of JustCallMeDad.com, and I thought this might be a good time to change the look a little bit.

Let me know what you think of this theme, and please let me know if you have any problems viewing the site.